Eddie Van Halen Can Kiss Her A**

You've probably seen the videos of Chinese kids still in diapers playing Lizst at carpal tunnel inducing tempos. There's so many of these kids toiling in Asia under dragon moms and dads these days they're hardly worth noticing. And here's another one, only this one grew up and became a world class concert pianist. Her name is Yuja Wang, she's from Bejing (living in NYC), and she's really hot. She still plays the fusty long hair music of olde but she does it in a club dress. In fact, nearly as much attention has been given to the torque and lengths of her skirts as to her actual playing. Well, who writes the stuff but nerdy too-long-behind-the-screen fan boys anyway? (Oops. Guilty as charged.)

After Wang, the market for liver-spotted Horowitzes and their crinkly derrières may be drying up. Could the tuxedo and gown set be hungering for leer-worthy rockstars of their own?  Maybe. Here's another one: Lola Astanova.

But watch this: a Flight of the Bumble Bee in a hands-blurring, amphetamine tempo––her left hand could be named Usain Bolt––that should put your favorite wanker metal guitarist behind granny's walker. Hers are some diamond tipped chops.



So, she's fast, but is she any good when she's not bangin'? Well, watch her play this thread-bare Chopin nugget that just about every third or fourth year piano student has to labor over. She wrings from it gobs of new nuance lets it reveal a story we haven't heard quite in this way before. She gives it a very, very wet kiss.

Her playing could be a little young yet and at times a bit rushed. That aside, I don't know about you but I'm sold. Rockstar piano divas: If I were Murray Perahia I'd be worried.